Happy Easter my friends. Hope you’ve enjoyed the break if you do not celebrate and if you do celebrate, hope you enjoyed the celebrations and the break.
No break for me so I am celebrating at work with an Easter Worship playlist on Spotify.
Let’s get into it shall we.
Change they say is the one constant thing in life, and it can be hard. What makes it even harder is that most times, we try to change the wrong things for the wrong reasons.
Last week we discussed why it is important to focus on the process and not just the goal, this week we’ll go one step further and look at the different levels at which change happens.
There is the Outcomes level. This is where you’re focused on a goal, for example - you want to lose 10kg.
The Process level. This is about the habits and things you plan to do to lose 10kg. Intermittent fasting, Keto, cut out carbs and so on.
Then there’s the identity level. This level is about your beliefs and what is driving your goal to lose 10kg. Do you want to lose 10kg to look fire for the gram on your next holiday.
Or. Do you want to lose 10kg because you’re pre diabetic and your doctor has recommended that losing weight will help optimise your sugar control.
OR.
Do you want to lose 10kg because you think that being fat makes you unlovable and unworthy of good things and losing 10kg will make you more likeable and dateable.
Believe it or not, these different motivations can lead to different outcomes even though the initial goal is the same. Why. Because your identity can sabotage your goals.
If you’re the type of person who prioritises your Friday nights at the club, you might struggle with getting enough sleep to wake up to train. Also the alcohol that helped make the night super groovy might have you too hung over to do anything until mid day the following day.
Sabotaged.
If instead you’re the type of person who prioritises your health alongside enjoyment, you might end your Friday night early enough to get sufficient sleep and water down your drinks significantly enough to avoid a hang over the following day. This might give you the chance to wake up clear headed enough to get a morning workout in before going about the rest of your day.
When I first started working out I had a vision. I wanted to look like Halle Berry so I would refer to my exercising and dieting efforts as #projecthalleberry . Over 10 years later I still look nothing like Halle Berry but the difference is that I no longer desire to look like a wealthy Hollywood actress with infinite resources who gets paid to look like she does.
I now work out because I love my body and want to take care of it as much as I can so that it can continue to function optimally for as long as possible. I work out because I really like the curves that lifting gives my body. I work out because I like looking at my thighs and seeing my sartorious and gracilis clearly outlined. I work out because identify as an athlete and working out regularly is something athletes do.
Athletes also get sufficient sleep and eat a healthy balanced diet comprising of ALL the food groups (which includes cake in my case) because carbs and calories are necessary fuel for the body.
As an athlete I also understand that staying fit isn’t limited to the gym. I’m more focused on active lifestyle and this influences some of my hobbies from salsa to cycling. ( I taught myself how to ride a bicycle last year and I consider that my greatest achievement of recent times)
Every habit/action is a vote for the type of person you want to be. Every single action. These actions when taken individually may seem completely harmless but they all add up.
What type of person do you want to be.
If you want to be a kind person then you might do things like hold the door for people coming after you or offer to help a friend review her CV or randomly send cake or cocktails to your friend who has had a rough week.
If you want to be a confident person you might adjust your posture to make sure you’re standing tall and your shoulders are not drooping, you might stop minimising your work by saying things like “I wrote a small thing” or “I’m not very good at this”.
If you want to be a rich person you might do things like splurge on a nice pair of diamond earrings for your birthday, or speak to a financial advisor about investment options.
You get the idea. I hope.
None of this is to say that the outcomes and process levels are bad, they’re necessary practice to get to the identity level.
Every time you practice a habit, you’re not only casting a vote for the type of person you want to become, but you’re also collecting evidence that you can be that person.
I’ve been writing on my personal blog for over a decade and have held a writing job for an online publication for over 4 years and it’s only very recently that I started to refer to myself as a writer. So trust me, I know the struggle of getting to the identity point.
Just keep collecting the evidence by sticking to your systems and it will happen.
This week I am reading
Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men Haven’t managed to finish it yet because I have had quite the week but very enlightening read so far. My inner nerd is happy because, data. Everyone should read this book, especially If you ever think feminists are “making too much noise”.
This week I discovered
A delightful book blog run by a Nigerian woman.
Speaking of book blogs you should also check out my friends What Dami Did and Two Nightstands.
That’s it from me for now.
Have a great week!
Chioma.
Keep em coming Chioma.