108 - The good in the things that change
Change can be scary but is absolutely necessary for growth
Over the Easter weekend, I had the joy of celebrating one of my favourite humans — my Aunty — at her nursing school graduation.
She’s my mum’s youngest sister and has been a constant in my life. I remember her earning her first degree in History when I was still in secondary school, and later completing a second degree in Human Resources while I was in medical school.
When I moved back to Nigeria, I lived in her house and learned so much just from watching her be the kindest human imaginable. After years of TTC — trying to conceive — she had our miracle baby. He was born with special needs, and sadly, Nigeria isn’t the most supportive environment for children like him.
About nine years ago, after exhausting every local option for care, she and her husband decided she would move to the U.S. with their son, hoping for better opportunities. At the time, she had a well-paying HR job at a foreign manufacturing company and a fledgling food business. Leaving that comfortable life in Lagos for the uncertainty of the great big U.S.A. wasn’t easy. People questioned her decision, and I know she had doubts too. But the possibility of a better future for her son was worth the risk.
Starting over in a new country as a single parent was tough — emotionally, financially, and logistically. When nursing school became a possibility, she first enrolled in an associate degree program to become a registered nurse. It was the quicker, more affordable option. But after failing a prerequisite course, she nearly gave up.
Instead, she regrouped and applied for a Bachelor of Science in Nursing at a better university. It was a longer, more expensive route, and starting over alongside students half her age was daunting. She worried about the cost, the workload, and whether she’d make it through.
But here we are, a few years later — she’s nearly done with the program and already has job opportunities lined up once she completes her exams.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about change, mostly because I am contemplating changes myself. My aunty’s story has sparked a few reflections, and I’d like to share them.
Find and focus on your why.
One question I ask myself often is: Why?
Why do I want this thing? Why am I doing this thing?
Knowing your "why" can galvanise you into action. When you're clear on why something matters to you, it's easier to decide whether it's worth the sacrifices needed to pursue it. Most worthwhile goals require trade-offs — time, effort, money, or comfort. A strong enough "why" can be all the motivation you need.
It's okay to be afraid — just don’t let the fear stop you.
Change is scary. Leaving behind everything familiar for an uncertain future is scary. But when you want something badly enough, you owe it to yourself to at least try.
Things might not go as planned. You might fail. But you’ll also learn — and that learning can make your next step smarter. Or things might turn out even better than you imagined. Either way, you won’t know unless you take that first, terrifying step.
Be careful whose advice you take.
Personally, I’m not big on seeking advice, but when I do, I go to people who are doing (or have done) the thing I’m considering. They’re more likely to offer relevant insights.
The truth is, most people give advice through the lens of their own fears, values, and life experience. But we’re all different, different personalities, different circumstances. What worked for someone else might not work for you.
Whether the advice comes from experience or not, weigh it carefully. Take what fits. Leave what doesn’t.
Starting something new can be daunting.
And it is. But if your “why” is big enough, then you kinda owe it to yourself to try.
Change will always be uncomfortable. There will always be a little fear, a little doubt, a little voice asking, “What if this doesn’t work?”
But I’m learning that staying stuck is its own kind of discomfort — and unlike growth, it rarely leads anywhere new.
So here’s to finding our “why,” facing the fear, and trying anyway. Because sometimes, the future we want is waiting on the other side of that one brave step.
Recently, I read.
My What If Year: A Memoir by Alisha Fernandez Miranda
I stumbled across this book while searching for something else, but the title reeled me in. Alisha is the CEO of a consulting firm, a wife, and a mother to 8-year-old twins. On paper, she’s living the dream — but in reality, she’s overworked, exhausted, and not entirely fulfilled by her seemingly perfect life.
So, she decides to hit pause on her high-powered job and explore other careers she once dreamed about. The book is a heartwarming account of her experiences interning in four completely different industries, and the personal reflections that came with each chapter of her journey.
As someone currently contemplating a few changes of my own, this was a timely and much-needed read. Sure, I’m still a little jealous of the privilege it takes to afford working for free — but that aside, she shares some honest, thoughtful insights. I’d recommend it to anyone considering a pivot, a pause, or just something new.
A recently discovered newsletter - Faraway, Near.
Recently I listened to.
I’ve known about Trevor Noah’s podcast for a while, but it took him interviewing Chimamanda for me to eventually listen, and I am quite impressed. The guy actually has sense.
I recently listened to an episode titled: The anxious generation with Jonathan Haidt, who is the author of a book by the same title.
I found it interesting, especially because I’ve been noticing how common mental health struggles have become in younger and younger children. I’m seeing kids as young as 8 dealing with everything from anxiety to body dysmorphia.
In the episode, they explore the root causes — including how these issues show up differently in boys and girls — and Jonathan shares some practical norms from his book that could help shift things.
This one’s a must-listen for anyone raising kids or working with them — or really, anyone who’s concerned about where we’re headed.
Speaking of change, say hello to the latest British Citizen!
I am full of gratitude and giddy with excitement because, in some ways, this feels like a ticket to the life of my dreams. Looking back on this journey, I’m reminded that sometimes you just have to do the thing and do it in a timely fashion. That uncertainty eventually makes way for clarity, and big prizes typically require some sacrifice.
Congratulations to me.
Here’s wishing you the bravery required to make the changes that get you closer to your dreams.
Chioma.
🎉 Congratulations on the extra open doors! and to your aunt too
Congratulations on the new passport!!! 🍾