20- Aligning naturally with the things
Adapting your habits towards your natural abilities
TWENTY!!!!!!!
I hope you can tell by the number of exclamation marks, how excited I am to be writing the TWENTIETH edition of my very own newsletter. I can still remember jumping from my mat excitedly to send my friend a voice note when this idea occurred to me mid-workout, and now here I am, TWENTY letters in.
The past TWENTY weeks of producing this newsletter have definitely been interesting. Half the time, I’m scratching my head, wondering what to write and what right I might have to dispense advice, but every week, come work or play, I have delivered a newsletter and for this I am super proud and thankful.
As much as I consider this a feat, the truth is that I have always had a natural inclination to write. I have always written. From a short story in primary school (that I actually had to get an illustrator for because it got entered into a competition, but ended up not winning) to an anonymous blog which I’ve had for over 10 years. So I guess you could credit part of my success in producing this newsletter to the fact that I have an aptitude for writing. In addition to this aptitude, I am also writing about things that genuinely interest me. If I had picked something I have no aptitude for (e.g, anything at all that has to do with numbers or spreadsheets), the story might be different, and If I had chosen to write about a topic that didn’t interest me, I may have struggled even more.
The truth is that we all have natural inclinations towards certain things. And this doesn’t just refer to talent, there’s also physical features that make certain people better suited for certain sports than others. We also have different personalities which can also affect the types of activities that we are drawn to. All these factors affect how we relate with the world around us and by extension, our habits. The key is to take advantage of our natural abilities and lean into the things that you’re naturally better suited for and not just do the things that everyone else is doing, the way everyone else is doing them.
As human beings, we naturally want to do the things that will draw admiration and applause. So we copy the celebrities, without accounting for the vast difference in resources. We envy our friends without considering our different life circumstances, and by so doing start to aspire to things that we simply are not cut out for.
Take me for instance, for all my love for fitness. I know nothing about any sport. And when I say nothing, I mean nothing. It took me starting boxing to know how long a round lasts (3 minutes for my fellow non sporty spices)
However, for some reason. I feel a strange envy when I see other women I admire being able to hold court on topics like F1 and tennis. But the truth is I’ve never been the type of person who enjoyed watching TV. I’d rather be reading or coloring or crocheting. Not because I think this is a better way to spend my time, but because I just don’t have the attention span required to watch anything. (This also means that I will miss any music or movie reference, no matter how popular.) Therefore it makes perfect sense that I would know next to nothing about sports or movies, but because I think that the people who know these things, look and sound very cool, I want to know these things so I too can be cool.
I’m fairly certain that with some time and effort, I could pick one sport and “study” it enough to be conversational, but it would hardly feel as enjoyable. And to what end? Why do I feel the need to impress others with knowledge that I have zero interest in and adds no value to my life.
These self examinations can be tough, but are absolutely necessary in helping to identify what your true desires and strengths are. When you are able to identify your strengths, you’re better able to align your goals or plans to your natural skills/abilities.
For example, if you’re looking to improve your fitness and you happen to be a very sociable person, then you might consider joining an exercise class. That way you get the exercise as well as the social interaction, and that small reward of getting to interact with others might keep you coming back to the class and help you stay on track with your fitness goals. If on the other hand, you’re super shy or socially anxious to the point where you’d rather pee on yourself than use a communal restroom, you’d probably be better off doing your workouts alone, in the comfort of your home or anywhere else you find suitable. This way you still get your results without any uncomfortable interactions.
You do not have to build the popular habits, or go about them the same way as everyone else.
Your own version of fitfam might be to focus on playing a sport you enjoy. Or dancing for an hour in your living room.
Doing the things is not always easy, but when we choose the things based on our natural interests and abilities, we give ourselves a better chance of sticking with the things. When you’re doing things that genuinely interest you, it is easier to get into a state of flow and also makes the work feel less like work.
Yes, you still have to work.
You might have the ideal body type for a marathon runner but if you’ve not been training for a marathon, that body type isn’t going to win you any medals. You still have to train consistently as well as employ many other habits relating to a healthy lifestyle in order to cross that finish line.
There is no substitute for the work but the work is easier to do when it is work you like, work that fulfils you and work that feels rewarding.
This week I read
This very well written essay about being fat.
This week I am reading
The Psychology of Money. I love how the book focuses more on the psychology more than the numbers. It had minimal finance jargon and was easy to read and understand.
I’m still manifesting the flat of my dreams, so join faith with me. In the meantime, I have moved into a tiny little room provided by my new hospital and it reminds me of my brief stint in boarding house. Thankful for the option to stay there for now.
Here’s wishing you a week of unexpected blessings.
Chioma.