44 - Shifting your mindset about the things
Changing your mindset can lead to a new identity and more sustainable habits
*Resending because I hit the publish button too quickly and sent out an unfinished version yesterday.
When I first started my fitness journey over a decade ago, I dubbed it “the Halle Berry” project.
This was the picture I carried around in my head. The flat belly and small waist. The flared hips and toned muscles. I wanted my body to look like hers.
Looking back now, I can see how unrealistic my goal was, but it was my goal at the time, so I did all the things I thought would help me achieve this goal. From cutting out entire food groups for periods of time to working out twice a day, five times a week.
As you can imagine, despite my efforts, I never got to look like Halle Berry. Thankfully, these days, I only want to look like a strong and healthy Chioma Duru. Getting to this point has been a very long process and today I’ve decided to share some of that process with you.
The biggest change in this process for me has been a mental shift from seeing my body as a problem that needs solving to seeing my body as a machine/vessel responsible for getting me through my daily activities and one that needs to be well taken care of in order to serve me for as long as possible. Once I stopped measuring myself against the unrealistic expectations set by society/other people, things became so much easier.
Instead of chasing washboard abs, I started congratulating myself for the core strength to execute a single pull up. Instead of focusing on increasing my glutes, I started to find joy in increasing how many kilos I could squat. Instead of trying to recreate every instagram workout, I started focusing on my form and choosing low impact exercises to reduce the wear and tear on my joints.
Having to treat people with various ailments everyday also helps to remind me how fortunate I am to have a body that can do things and why it is important for me to take as much care of this body as I can, while enjoying every phase of this body because decline is inevitable. I mean, there are things my 25 yr old knees could do that my 35 yr old knees can’t.
This shift in mindset has helped me realise that being fit and healthy doesn’t have to be all about spending time in the gym and following a restrictive diet, but can also be about taking part in activities I enjoy, from dancing salsa to hanging upside down on a pole, while eating what I like, when I like and practicing moderation in everything.
The result of this mindset shift is the creation of a new identity and subsequently I’ve been able to build identity-based habits. Through trial and error, I have figured out what works for me and put in the work to prove to myself that I am a person who considers her health and fitness to be a very important part of her life.
I practice this by focusing more on consistency than effort, setting small but achievable goals that solidify my belief in my identity. Employing commitment devices that help me stick with my habits. Designing my environment to support my habits, and so on.
Yesterday, I was going through my beach photos trying to decide which to post, and it occured to me that I wouldn’t have considered posting any of them five years ago. Now when I see a belly roll, I also see a waist that can salsa and a core that can keep me suspended from a pole.
This week I am reading
How will you measure your life by Clayton Christensen, James Allworth, and Karen Dillon. I’ve had this book on my list since I first heard about it when the author died. I’m really enjoying how the book highlights how easy it is to fall into cycles that lead to unhappiness and also the things that really matter and why they do.
This week I listened to
Shane talking to Dr Fogg (who is the author of Tiny Habits) about creating lasting change by making tiny changes in habit. As a disciple of everything habit related, I really enjoyed this. He has conducted studies on how new habits can be developed in as little as five days, which I consider too short a time frame but he has the evidence to back it up and so I shall accept it.
He’s also developed a behaviour model and a behaviour grid which I hope to study.
I’m currently on holiday with a dear friend and her two kids, (one is my goddaughter) and I’m in awe of how much everything motherhood/parenting requires of one. Happy (belated) American Mothers Day to all of us. This trip was somewhat impromptu and much shorter than I’d have liked but I’m grateful for this opportunity to reconnect with my friend and meet my babies while enjoying the sun and multiple cocktails.
Here’s wishing you a week of treating your body with love and kindness.
Chioma.