Whenever I see a death announcement or hear of someone’s passing, I always wonder how it happened. What were their last moments like? Were they ill? Was it expected or unexpected? And so on. I wonder how their loved ones are coping and in what ways their lives might change as a result of the loss.
I sometimes think that the expected ones might be easier to bear (even though this is probably not true). I imagine that in cases of expected death, people are more likely to be prepared, to put their affairs in order. I imagine that the unexpected ones must be even more devastating, especially when it’s a young person who was otherwise fit and well.
Unfortunately, the truth is that we have no way of knowing when our time on this earth might come to an end or change in some other drastic way. Despite our best efforts to maintain good health, life can still happen and we can become poorly for any number of reasons. And this can also happen quite unexpectedly. One day you notice some random non-specific symptom and next thing you know you’ve been diagnosed with a lifelong condition that requires medication or surgery or both.
Although we may not be able to avoid certain events, there might be things we can do to prepare ourselves for these unexpected life events. I’ll share a few of the ones I have personally considered.
Health insurance - Health is wealth and healthcare is expensive. This is where health insurance comes in. As somebody who works in healthcare, I know that having health insurance can be the difference between life and death for many people. Depending on the type of cover you choose, health insurance can cover everything from routine health checks to diagnostic investigations to surgical interventions and everything in between. I know it can seem like such an unnecessary expense if you’re someone who is generally fit and well but life is full of surprises and out-of-pocket healthcare expenses can be crippling.
Income protection - This is something I did not know existed until last year. I’d been on the fence about it until I spoke to a salesperson at an event. He told me the story of a young doctor who was involved in an accident and survived with major injuries which left him unable to go back to work. Thanks to his income protection, he can focus on his recovery without having to worry too much about his finances. The story may or may not be true of course, but I signed up on the spot. Income protection cover means that you get paid a percentage of your usual salary if you become unable to work. As one who does not have a trust fund, I know that I need to work to afford my life and any threat to my ability to work is one I literally can not afford so I am happy to pay a monthly stipend to hedge against this.
Life insurance - I have no idea what happens to people when they die but I do know that there are usually many costs involved and these costs have to be borne by those left behind. While I don’t think there’s any amount of money that would make up for losing a loved one, I know that financial strain can make any situation feel worse. I think this is even more important for people who have children. The unexpected passing of a parent can have a major negative impact on the life of their child/children and having a life insurance policy might help to minimise this.
A few months ago, I heard about a Death box for the first time. This is a way of storing your personal and financial wishes for your loved ones to be aware of/carry out in the case of your passing.
This could include things like:
Bank accounts.
Investments.
Pensions.
Bills – details and how they are paid.
Preferred tradesman e.g. plumber, electrician.
Trusted advisers e.g. Financial Adviser, Accountant, Solicitor.
Copies of your wishes e.g. your Will, Trusts that you set up or gifts you were planning or had made.
Evidence of loans due back to you.
I know this might seem a bit overboard, but imagine how many family disputes could be avoided if more people employed such devices.
As uncomfortable as it might be to think about death, it is a fate that awaits all of us and with all the resources we have available now, it would be almost irresponsible not to put certain measures in place, especially if you can afford to.
“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” - Marcus Aurelius
This week I read
Stillness is the key by Ryan Holiday - Mr Stoic himself. Now I’ll be honest and say I don’t like the guy. Maybe it is his commodification of stoicism or how he shouts in his videos. However, this was a good read. He used the stories of many popular people to demonstrate the importance of stillness. The book was mostly about the benefits of mindful practices and the pitfalls of not living mindfully. I liked that he did not just limit the stories to sports references. There were stories of ex-presidents, athletes and other famous people and this helped give the book some balance.
Last love: a romance in a care home - The sweetest story about love and loss in later life.
This week I wrote
33 - I’ve been writing this one in my head for many many moons and this weekend I finally put the words down.
A few days ago, I was by myself at an event when a man started a conversation with me. He mentioned that he was a writer and I told him about my own writing dreams and one of the things he said was “You just have to do it, write. And don’t think too much about whether it’s any good. Just write”
So here I am, just doing it (and hoping it is some good). I’ve been in a funk but I am glad that I can still recognise and appreciate the random moments that feel like a message from the universe that I’ll be just fine.
Here’s wishing you a week/lifetime of living as you would like to be remembered.
Chioma.