It’s been a full month since I started my new role as a General Practice Speciality Trainee and it has been a hectic time. Hectic because it has been a major change in pace from my last role, where I not only attended to a more controlled patient population, but also had two whole work free weeks a month.
I am currently working in accident and emergency which is easily the busiest department in the healthcare system. My shifts include days and nights and weekends, with some very oddly timed shifts thrown into the mix. My circadian rhythm is currently out of whack and from discussions with my seniors and peers, this is not about to change for the entire duration of this posting.
In addition to the increased clinical work, I now have compulsory administrative duties which I didn’t have before. I’m expected to make a certain number of portfolio entries, attend teachings, arrange meetings with my supervisors, as well as gradually start preparing for the exams I’ll be required to take as a trainee.
As a result, the past few weeks have felt a little like an endless game of catchup. I’m not yet at the point where I feel overwhelmed, but I know that I do not want to get there and in order to avoid the potential derailment that comes with feeling overwhelmed, I’ve had to do some reevaluation.
When I started this newsletter in March, I committed to writing weekly. It has been a thing of great pride to me that I have kept that commitment. I truly enjoy writing these letters and the interactions borne of writing them.
Many Sunday afternoons, I sit before my computer with nothing to write but somehow end up producing something to send out by Monday. Every time I hit the publish button, I feel accomplished.
Writing this letter consistently for the past twenty six weeks has provided me with evidence that I am a writer and a person who keeps to her word.
However, I also hope to be a person who takes her own advice and for that reason I have decided to reduce the frequency (and maybe length) of my letters.
I took my time arriving at this decision for a few reasons. One reason is that a part of me feels like this is a cop out. This part of me feels that I can still produce my newsletters weekly if I just pare down my life a bit more. And to be fair, this might very well be true. But at what cost.
What would I need to sacrifice in order to continue to produce this letter which I absolutely love on a weekly basis?
Do I want to keep pushing myself to produce a newsletter weekly to the point where it starts to feel forced or less organic because I’ve now put myself under pressure?
The answer is, No. I’m fairly certain I do not.
There are other things that I consider essential to my happiness and well being and sacrificing them for this one thing is just not how I choose to operate.
I am learning that it is perfectly normal to have competing interests, the important thing is to prioritise according to your current situation. We sometimes get hung up on the need to stick to our initial decision/plan and view any detours as failure, but this doesn’t have to be the case.
For instance, if you had committed to working out five times a week at the beginning of the year, and now you need to prepare for an exam that comes up in three months time. It makes perfect sense to scale down on your workout time in order to create study time.
This would be a better option than struggling to fit study time into your already packed schedule which might increase your chances of getting overwhelmed and subsequently both activities might suffer.
We sometimes struggle needlessly, by trying to add more things to our lives, in a bid to be productive, but in reality, giving up certain things might make us more efficient and productive overall.
There is also the fact that our priorities will change from day to day and even over the years and it is okay to adjust your life according to what is important at the time.
Yes you’re not going to have as much fun as your single, child free friends now that you’re married with kids and that’s okay. It’s okay for you to prioritise the young ones that you are now responsible for. So if you have to turn down yet another brunch invite, don’t sweat it too much.
It is important to constantly reevaluate the things and make adjustments where necessary in order to ensure that your actions are actually taking you towards your goals and not just busy work for the sake of appearing to be working. Or for the sake of upholding an earlier commitment which is no longer serving your current situation/goal(s).
I find writing things down to be helpful when trying to make decisions like this one. When I started listing the differences between my last role and my current one, it was clear to me that I couldn’t expect to function at the same capacity.
Some things would have to - maybe not give, but shift a little to fit my new life situation. I’ve had to almost completely eliminate some non essential things but because this love letter is a semi essential thing, it’s only shifting a little bit.
I shall now appear in your inbox every other Monday. Try not to miss me too much, and If you do, feel free to write me, I promise to write back.
This week I am (still) reading
The Bead Collector by Sefi Atta. This was a book club pick for one of my book clubs and we discussed it recently. The general consensus was that it was a bit of a frustrating read because it lacked a plot. I, on the other hand, am really enjoying the story telling and don’t mind the lack of a plot. There’s also the fact that when I do start writing fiction, I hope to be able to tell stories with the same level of skill as Aunty Sefi, so I’m probably biased.
It was my birthday on Tuesday and it was sweet. I cried many happy tears because I was reminded how loved I am. I extended celebrations to this weekend and had the most delightful date yesterday. Still accepting gifts and dates when my rota permits.
Here’s wishing you a week full of pockets of rest, because you deserve.
Chioma.
GREAT!….lesson learnt, adapting to situations and the operating environment, is critical to productivity and survival…. Well done and best wishes in your new role….. enjoy the journey
Just exactly what I needed to hear. I’m struggling to catch-up with so much. Unread messages, latest happenings, new job, baby, relocating, everything and I feel like I’m drowning. This is your the reminder I needed that the posts aren’t fixed.